


Closer

by Lilover131



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Angst, F/M, Humor, Love Letters, Oneshot, Romance, long distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25230358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilover131/pseuds/Lilover131
Summary: ONESHOT. While Syaoran is away in Hong Kong taking care of the things he needs to do, Sakura struggles to deal with the pain of their separation, and only his letters are able to quell the anguish. Will the letters be enough to help her hold on? Or will they find themselves drifting even farther apart? Takes place after the original series and before the Clear Card arc.
Relationships: Kinomoto Sakura/Li Syaoran
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Closer

**Author's Note:**

> Lilover131: This was a fic idea I got a while back and is inspired by a short story Ohkawa, the writer of CLAMP, wrote on her instagram. The story involved Sakura struggling a bit to write a letter to Syaoran while they were separated in different countries. So I decided to write a story that consists mostly of the letters they wrote to each other and my idea of what those looked like. I hope you all enjoy!

There was always this feeling of anticipation when the school day was over. Every day, Sakura would come home and eagerly open the mailbox just outside the house, and she would hope and pray that she would find what she so longed for.

Ever since Syaoran went back to Hong Kong, they had had relatively little communication. Sakura imagined it was because he was busy doing whatever it was that he needed to do that had brought him back in the first place, but amongst his busy schedule, he still found time to write to her, and it was through those letters that she would feel revitalized. She wasn’t exactly sure why this was, but there was just something about it that made him feel closer to her. Maybe it was his handwriting. Maybe it was the way he described his day or how he seemed to ask so many questions about her as if they were having a conversation in person. Or perhaps it was even just the fact that the letters smelled faintly of him.

Sakura would wonder silently while reading _‘I wonder what the weather was like when he wrote this?’_ and _‘What sort of expression did he have? I wish I could have seen it…’_. She hoped that Syaoran had the same thoughts about her when reading her letters, and her heart fluttered just at the idea of it.

Much to her delight, a letter addressed to her with a stamp from Hong Kong was waiting for her. She rushed upstairs to her room and immediately opened it.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I hope you are well._

_The summer is quite hot here in Hong Kong, and I hope you are staying cool in Tomoeda._

_The house is lively as always, especially with Meiling and my sisters spending more time together. They ask about you all the time and send their regards._

_The bear you gave me has gotten a lot of attention here, and everyone who has seen it has remarked at how well made it is. You’re really amazing at so many things, and it is almost hard to believe it was handmade! ‘Sakura’ sits on my desk so I can see her whenever I write to you._

_I’m working hard every day to finish the things I need to do so I can return to Tomoeda, though it has kept me very busy and I apologize for not writing more.  
How are things at school? Are you and Daidouji still in the same class?_

_I hope everything remains peaceful for you, but please let me know right away if strange things start to happen again._

_Sincerely,_

_Li Syaoran_

As Sakura finished reading the letter, her fingers stroked over the surface of the paper, just above his name. Seeing his name at the bottom made her heart flutter, as it felt that he had somehow imbued a part of himself within the characters. Kero had told her once that this was not unusual, as there was magic even in a person’s name, and that by knowing a person’s name, you had access to their soul. This was one of the reasons why she had to write her name on the cards after she captured them.

The girl safely tucked away the letter in the drawer of her desk, the same place that she often kept the cards. Sometimes the cards would glow in response, as if to tell her that they were happy to see her in such good spirits.

Sakura wasted no time pulling out her favorite stationery, a pale pink paper with star designs littered along the borders, and started to write her response. She could not hide the blush on her cheeks as she wrote, and it wasn’t as if she were writing anything embarrassing. Just the thought of Syaoran brought warmth to her cheeks, and she was asked frequently if she had a fever by those who saw it out of context. Kero saw her like this more than he’d like to admit, but ultimately he only wanted her happiness, and until the ‘kid’ was back in Tomoeda, this was the best way to keep Sakura happy.

_Dear Syaoran-kun,_

_The summer has been very hot here in Tomoeda as well, but we’ve done everything we can to keep comfortable. Yesterday, Otou-san and I made shaved ice and had lots of different flavors to try! It was so delicious! I wish you could have tasted it. Maybe when you’ve come back to Japan, I’ll make some for you! You like lemon flavored things, right?_

_I’m glad that your sisters and Meiling are doing well. I’d really like to see them again, and every time I receive a letter from Meiling, it makes me really happy! She’s been teaching me a bit of Cantonese in her letters, and it’s made me realize how difficult it must have been for you to read Japanese at school. There are a lot of characters that look similar but have completely different meanings! Meiling told me I should write this for you the next time I sent you a letter._

_一百個心都裝唔晒我對你嘅愛。_

_I’m not sure what the direct translation is, but Meiling said it would make you happy if I wrote it and that it means something like “I care for you a great deal”._

_The ‘Sakura’ bear is not really that well made, but I’m glad you like it! I only had an evening to make it, and I’m happy that it didn’t turn out looking like Kero-chan this time! ‘Syaoran’ I feel is much better made and sits on a drawer in my room, right beneath my bulletin board with the post cards of Hong Kong you’ve sent me. I love the pictures on them, and they remind me of the time I visited and got to see your home. Your family was so kind, and your house felt very warm and inviting. I hope I can return someday and see more of it!_

_I’m sure you must be working very hard in Hong Kong, but please don’t overwork yourself. I will wait for you, so please take as long as you need to finish the things you need to do._

_Summer break will be starting soon at Tomoeda Elementary, but there’s no shortage of summer homework for sure. It seems like there is more than usual, but Onii-chan says it’s probably so they can prepare us for the middle school entrance exams. I’m really nervous, but at least we have several months before the exams! I’ve never been great at math, so I’m worried that I’ll struggle with those parts of the test. But Tomoyo-chan does really well in all classes and said she will help me study, so I am sure everything will be all right! We’re still in the same class right now, and I hope that stays the same for Middle School too. Even still, I feel like school isn’t quite the same without you sitting behind me…_

_I’ll be looking forward to your next letter!_

_Sincerely,_

_Kinomoto Sakura_

Sakura finished with her signature and gently blew on the wet ink to dry it before carefully folding the paper and placing it within the envelope. She’d send it out first thing tomorrow and couldn’t wait for her next letter to arrive.

A few weeks passed, and summer had ended. Autumn was on the horizon and the heat was starting to die down, much to her relief, and thankfully along with the end of summer also left the rainy season. It seemed that every day during that time, Sakura could look out the window and the sky would be covered in gray clouds. However, even the gloomiest of seasons, she felt she had Syaoran’s letters to look forward to, and continuing the same pattern every day, she checked the mailbox after school. The rainy season unfortunately passed without a single letter, but just as the sun returned, the letters did eventually as well.

Sakura immediately rushed upstairs to read it, and not even Kero dared to bother her. This letter had come a bit later than usual, and it seemed Syaoran’s communication was becoming more and more spaced out. It was concerning to Sakura, and even Kero didn’t like the silence, but he disliked seeing her sad face even more.

_Dear Sakura,_

_I hope you stayed dry in the rainy season! It appears that the sunshine is back again, so I hope it’s the same for you in Japan! I recall the weather being similar in some ways to Hong Kong at this time of year, though not quite as hot and humid!_

_I wish I could have had some of the shaved ice you made with your father in the summer time, and I’m sure it was delicious. I tried to imagine it whenever the heat was starting to get to me, and I think it helped a little bit._

_My sisters would certainly love to see you again, and Meiling talks about going back to visit Japan frequently. I had no idea she was teaching you Cantonese, and admittedly I was a little surprised at what she had you write._

_一百個心都裝唔晒我對你嘅愛。actually translates as “A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you”_

Sakura stopped reading briefly and cupped her face, which was beat red at the realization of the Cantonese words Meiling had advised her to write. She couldn’t believe she had her put down such a thing! The girl also couldn’t help but notice that Syaoran’s handwriting appeared to look a bit irregular and shaky in that particular part of the letter, and she wondered what had caused his hand to become so unsteady. After regaining her composure, she continued to read.

_I’m sorry she asked you to say such an extravagant thing without explaining the meaning, but I spoke to her about it to make sure it doesn’t happen again. She says it was all in good fun. But…regardless, I know what you intended to say and the feelings behind them, and it did make me very happy. You’re my most important person, and I’m doing everything I can to come back to Japan like I promised. I will try not to keep you waiting too long, and knowing that you’re waiting for me makes everything worth it. Thank you for that._

_I’m glad that ‘Syaoran’ bear has been so well taken care of, and I hope he’s been watching over you in my stead. ‘Sakura’, who I still insist is very well made, is always with me, and I feel like I have you by my side and am encouraged and made stronger by it._

_I’m sure someday you will come back to visit Hong Kong, and I’ll show you as much as I can when you do. There are lots of beautiful places that aren’t printed on post cards.  
Don’t be worried about the entrance exams. You’re plenty smart, and as long as you keep working at it, you’ll do just fine. Study a little bit each night, and it will come naturally to you when the time comes._

_School in Hong Kong also does not feel the same without you sitting in front of me, but I’m glad to hear that Daidouji is still in your class. She is a very good friend and I’m sure she will encourage you all the way through._

_Keep working hard!_

_Sincerely,_

_Li Syaoran_

The rest of the letter made her heart flutter, and her fingers brushed over his name once again. She would have to write him back right away! Without wasting another moment, she got out her favorite stationery and pen and started to write what was in her heart.

_Dear Syaoran,_

_Like you said, it was raining here a lot, but I didn’t mind it. The rain can be very calming at times, however it definitely limited the amount of things we can do outside. The sunny days are back now, so I’m excited to be outside more!_

_Fall is starting here, and Onii-chan said that now that the chestnuts are in season, he’ll bring home some dorayaki from the bakery he works part time at. I’m sure it’s delicious, but there are a lot of other really yummy desserts there too! When I think about it, Onii-chan really does have a lot of part time jobs. He says he’s working so much because he wants to pay for college on his own, but I think there’s more to it than that. He may be a jerk sometimes, but he is really hard working and is always looking after me. I have the feeling your sisters care a lot about you too and are always looking out for you. It must be nice having such a big family!_

_I had no idea that the words Meiling suggested I write meant that, and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. It’s so embarrassing! But I am glad that it made you happy, because you are very important to me as well. I hope you’re taking care of yourself._

_‘Syaoran’ bear has also encouraged me, and anytime I feel like I am struggling, I can look at it and imagine you’re here with me, cheering me on! School has been getting a little bit easier, and I’m not as nervous about the entrance exams anymore. Tomoyo-chan and I have been taking a little bit of time each week to study, and I think I’m finally starting to understand Math a bit better._

_I’m sure everything will be all right, and I’m looking forward to becoming a Middle School student! I know that everything will be all right for you as well in the important things you need to do, and I’m cheering you on from Japan!_

_Sincerely,_

_Kinomoto Sakura_

Sakura smiled as she signed the letter and sealed it in an envelope for mailing. She hoped that she would receive another message from Syaoran as soon as possible, but she also hoped that he knew she was encouraging him even from a distance, just as he had done for her.

Several months passed, and there was no letter. Sakura became worried that something had gone wrong, but every once in a while, she would get a small text message from Syaoran. The conversations they had via text were often short and more frequent than the letters, but they just didn’t seem as satisfying as those letters written by hand. They were special…

The lack of hand written letters gave her this agonizing sense of distance between them that appeared to be growing. Of course there were already many miles between them, so it’s not as if the feelings were completely out of the ordinary, but the letters had made her feel as if they were just the tiniest bit closer, if only in their hearts. 

It was finally when the autumn had come and gone and winter began to emerge that the next letter arrived, and Sakura let out a sigh of relief at the comfort that they were not over. There was a warmth that grew in her and made her forget about the bone chilling cold temperatures outside, and she made her way to the kitchen table with a fresh cup of tea and the letter in hand. 

_Dear Sakura,_

_I am sorry that it took so long for me to send this letter._

_I hope that the autumn was peaceful for you! I remember the season being very beautiful in Japan, but here in Hong Kong it is difficult to see the changes in the seasons from the middle of a large city. Even so, there are still some spots I can retreat to that remind me that nature is never far._

_The winter in Hong Kong is thankfully warmer than in Japan. I always struggled with the cold, but the scarf you made me feel much more comfortable, almost like it’s made with some sort of warming magic. I believe this is simply because **you** made it. _

_However, of all the seasons, spring is my favorite. Nothing really rivals the beauty of the blooming cherry blossom trees in Japan, and I hope to see them again soon…_

_I’ve never been quite sure how to act around your brother. I feel like he dislikes me still for how I treated you when we first met, and I don’t really blame him for that. He clearly cares about you a great deal and I believe that he is a very good brother to you. I hope I can apologize someday properly for my behavior back then._

_As for my own family, it is just as you said. It is nice to have a large family, and I can’t really imagine what my life would be like without them. My sisters, although very lively and sometimes loud, are very smart, strong, and kind women. I know they care about me too, but I wish they could show it without being so... **suffocating**. By ‘suffocating’, I mean that they hug me so tight I can’t breathe! _

As Sakura read the letter, she briefly glanced down and saw the bright smile that reflected in the tea within her cup. She blushed a bit upon seeing herself, and it was almost strange to see herself react like that to something written. Was this what love looked like from the outside? 

She continued to read the next part of the letter, and her face quickly changed to a different expression; one that was far different than one glowing from feelings of love. 

_I have thought about you the entire time and kept your letter close until I had the opportunity to respond, but I am afraid this will be the last letter I will be able to send.  
Please keep the ‘Syaoran’ bear close to you and remember that I am still always supporting you. Don’t forget your invincible spell. _

_Sincerely,_

_Li Syaoran_

Sakura stopped before the tea cup in her hand was rested back down onto the plate on the table. Her face had gone pale, and her emerald eyes were burning with tears threatening to fall. She read the line again, feeling a pain in her heart as she did. 

_I am afraid this will be the last letter I will be able to send._

Sakura read it over and over, trying desperately to understand its meaning. Did Syaoran mean to say that he was too busy to write any more letters? Was he telling her that he no longer _wanted_ to write them? If he wasn’t able to come back, he’d tell her, wouldn’t he? Her mind was swirling with the possibilities, but even if it were something innocent, the thought of losing those precious letters was almost too much to bear. The letters and the teddy bear...they were all she had to remember him by…

The girl made her way upstairs and opened the drawer of her desk containing the letters and sadly rested it atop of the others. From the privacy of her room, she allowed a few tears to fall and was thankful to see Kero was in the middle of a nap so he could not see her in such a state. The Sakura cards began to glow a soft pink, floating up from their stationary position and surrounding her, as if to try and comfort her in her apparent distress. She continued to cry until she gazed to the ‘Syaoran’ bear that rested on the small table across the room. 

Slowly, she made her way to it and held it tightly in her arms, remembering the last words in the letter. 

_Please keep the ‘Syaoran’ bear close to you and remember that I am still always supporting you. Don’t forget your invincible spell._

Sakura slowly nodded, her tears beginning to fade and her heart starting to understand the meaning. He was telling her to hold on...to keep waiting for him. 

“Everything...will surely be all right…” 

She whispered softly, still clinging to the bear and making a desperate wish that soon, they would be together again…

Sakura rushed back to her desk, eagerly writing her next letter. She had to let him know...she _must_ let him know…! 

_Dear Syaoran,_

_I promised to wait for you, and I will continue to do that, even if it means I won’t receive any more letters from here on out._

_I will keep waiting, because you are my number one person._

_Everything will surely be all right!_

_Sincerely,_

_Sakura Kinomoto_

The girl held the short letter close to her chest, muttering a wish and hoping to engrave her feelings in the small piece of paper. Surely, her feelings would reach him...and the distance between them would lessen. 

Several months passed since the heartfelt letter was sent, and just as Syaoran had said, no more letters were received. Although Sakura was generally very cheerful, the slight sadness had not gone unnoticed by those close to her. Even the text messages they shared had become farther apart in frequency, and Sakura couldn’t help but wonder if those too would soon disappear. 

Even still, she had decided to wait, and she continued to believe that everything would be all right. She focused on the other aspects of her life to distract herself, and the middle school entrance exams soon came and went. Thanks to her hard work and encouragement from Syaoran, Tomoyo, and those she cared about, she passed with flying colors. Starting in April, she was going to be a student at Tomoeda Middle School, and this change made her realize just how much time had truly passed. 

It would be so strange to be in a completely different school with new faces and Syaoran not beside her through it all. The time they shared in Elementary school was almost starting to feel like simply an old memory that would fade with time, and she prayed that no more time would pass before they were able to make new memories.   
Even still, life went on. She received her middle school uniform, and she attended the middle school entrance ceremony. Sakura said goodbye to her Elementary school life and prepared for the next step in her life. Why didn’t anyone ever tell her that growing up could be so... _scary_?

Her birthday arrived, and she grew another year older; another reminder that as she waited for Syaoran, time would continue to flow forward without their consent.   
And then the first day of her middle school life finally came…

Even if it was scary, she was still excited by the new opportunities and friendships she would find as a middle school student. It was a new adventure, and she’d tell Syaoran all about it when they saw each other again... _if_ they saw each other again.She shook her head at the thought. No, Syaoran promised, and he never broke a promise...

The cherry blossom trees were in full bloom and brilliantly lined the streets she walked, and they always managed to put her in a good mood. She remembered how Syaoran had spoken fondly of the springtime in Japan as well, particularly because of the trees. Sakura spoke to herself cheerfully about the springtime plans she had, excited for the good times to come. 

“I should go flower viewing with everyone! I should ask Tomoyo-chan and…”   
Her footsteps halted as she thought of what she had wanted to say next. 

_‘I wanted to see them with Syaoran-kun too….this year’s cherry blossoms’_

The feelings of loneliness washed over her again as she thought of possibly going through another year without him. His favorite season was here, and he wasn’t even here to enjoy it. 

Then, her eyes fell upon a figure standing at the end of the street, almost not visible behind the flurry of falling petals that rained like snow. The silhouette seemed so familiar, and she could almost swear that it looked like Syaoran...was she seeing things now? Perhaps she had wished for him so strongly that she was now beginning to see him in places he was not. 

However, as the blossoms settled and her sight became clearer, so did the image of the figure before her, and it now looked too real to be an illusion or dream. She saw Syaoran, wearing the Tomoeda middle school uniform and holding in his arm the ‘Sakura’ bear she had so painstakingly made for him. Her vision had now pulled her in so deep that she could not help but speak to it. 

“Syaoran-kun…?” 

It was when her vision spoke back that she suddenly began to realize that this was no fantasy, and the tears instantly welled up in her eyes. 

“We finally wrapped up the business in Hong Kong. From now on, I’m a permanent resident here in Tomoeda”

The words had shaken her so violently that she almost could not comprehend it. 

“Really…?” 

“Yeah” 

Almost needing more reassurance that this was not some sort of cruel dream, she asked more questions to verify the reality before her. 

“You mean I don’t need to settle...for letters or phone calls anymore?” 

Syaoran smiled at her, and it was then that she could no longer deny it. Even a dream could not replicate the effect her beloved’s smile had on her. This was the real thing...

“Yeah” 

In a sudden rush of emotion, she flung her briefcase down to the ground and charged towards him, quickly embracing him in a tear filled hug. He felt so _warm_ , and the solidness of his body and strong arms wrapping around her in return further grounded her to reality, which still at moments seemed so surreal. The happiness she felt was overwhelming, and having him close to her again was something she almost didn’t believe possible. 

“Now we can be together forever!” 

The painful waiting was finally over, and the part she felt she had been missing for the past year was now back, making her feel whole again. Sakura now understood what his words had meant...the reason he had told her that he would not be able to send her any more letters was because he knew that they would be together again soon. He must have worked so hard in those last few months, especially since he said it would take a long time to come back. She hoped that he would tell her all about it. 

Sakura felt so connected to him now, but what she found most incredible of all, was that even with the physical distance and seasons that passed, it was through the letters that they somehow found a way to become even closer, and it took them reconnecting now for her to recognize it. The distance was never really there, was it? Now that they were together again, there was nothing in their way and so many memories to make and seasons to experience. They would do this all... _together_. 

_‘Everything will surely be all right…’_

**THE END**


End file.
